“You notice every flaw. You feel every failure. You repent, then repent for not repenting well enough.”
I happened upon this line in my X feed the other day and it caused me to pause. This was the beginning of a letter by Jeffrey Perry written to “the one with a tender conscience.” While I don’t know much about Mr. Perry, I was quick to identify with his words which were just the beginning of a beautiful letter of encouragement to those who find themselves acutely aware of their sinfulness. You can find the original letter here, but there are a couple of key lines that I think are beneficial for us individually and also as a church.
For those who find themselves wrestling with a tender conscience Perry writes:
But here’s what you need to know:
Your tender conscience is not a curse. But it does need a strong gospel.
Because when your heart is quick to accuse, you don’t need a religion that tells you to do more.
You need a Savior who says, “It is finished.”
Those of us who often feel the crushing weight of our imperfection need not self-prescribe an increase in Christian duty to combat the feelings of guilt, shame, or failure. The solution is not to achieve more so that we feel that we are worth more. God has not commanded us to find confidence in our accomplishments. No, my dear brothers and sisters, He has commanded us to look to His Son for our confidence because of the work He has done on our behalf. In short, when we find ourselves feeling condemned, we don’t need better acts of spirituality, we need a better view of the gospel. It’s from this renewed grasp of the gospel that joyful obedience flows more and more.
This is also the same when it comes to repentance and grieving our sin. There have been times in my life that I cry out to God in repentance, yet feel that my confession is not enough. I tell myself, “There must be a greater display of tears for it to be true contrition. I must prostrate myself on the floor and mourn for hours so that the Lord knows that I am serious this time.” Like before, there is an element of works righteousness that can creep into our repentance. The enemy whispers a demonic lie, “God will only be pleased with you when you have suffered enough for what you have done.” Brothers and sisters, again I remind you that you are not required to suffer for your sins, for Christ Himself drank the cup of the Father’s wrath completely. Our Father does not call us to grovel at his feet but instead to approach the throne of grace with confidence (Heb 4:16). Yes, shed tears for your sin and mourn the damage of our fleshly endeavors but those things are not your means of our propitiation – Jesus Christ alone is.
With all this in mind, Perry begins closing out his letter by writing:
Your hope is Jesus.
His blood.
His righteousness.
His intercession.
So breathe.
We can breathe, because there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ (Rom 8:1). Yes, there will be moments when our hearts feel the weight of our brokenness yet we know that “God is greater than our heart” (1 John 3:20). His grace is not only sufficient for our lives, but his power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Cor 12:9). Therefore, let us boast in our weakness, because it’s through that weakness that the power of God is manifest among the nations.
But, how does this apply to the church?
One of the most destructive forces in the church are those who apply the gospel for themselves yet require works for everyone else. Men and women, like the forgiven servant in Matt 18:23-35, who receive mercy from the King yet demand payment from their fellow servants. This can look like someone who holds onto an offense while demanding some sort of penance from a brother or sister before allowing reconciliation. It could be unrealistic expectations of service, generosity, or hospitality that are placed onto others as a litmus test for whether they truly love Jesus or not. They tell themselves, “if someone serves me in all the ways I want them to, then they must surely be a mature, godly believer!” This is dangerous because it makes the works of the brethren or even the leadership the cornerstone of church unity.
Brothers and sisters, we should always call one another up to love and good works (Heb 10:24), but the foundation of our relationship with one another is not our good works but Christ Himself. It is his blood that unites us together (Eph. 14:13-22) and not our acts of service, meals together, or confession of sin. Those things are good and right, but they are not the cornerstone of our unity, that belongs only to Jesus.
Recently, I was struck by this kind of love displayed in a letter written from George Whitefield to John Wesley. Wesley had sought to provoke Whitefield into an argument over their theological differences, yet Whitefield desired to maintain unity in Christ and for Christ. He writes:
Why then should we dispute, when there is no probability of convincing? Will it not in the end destroy brotherly love, and insensibly take from us that cordial union and sweetness of souls, which I pray God may always subsist between us? How glad would the enemies of the Lord be to see us divided? How many would rejoice, should I join and make a party against you? And in one word, how would the cause of our common Master every way suffer by our raising disputes about particular points of doctrine? Honoured Sir, let us offer salvation freely to all by the blood of Jesus; and whatever light God has communicated to us, let us freely communicate to others…Only I pray to God, that the more you judge me, the more I may love you, and learn to desire no one’s approbation, but that of my Lord and Master, Jesus Christ.
Yes, Whitefield desired to win Wesley into his theological camp but he was not limiting his brotherly affection to only those who thought exactly as he did. Likewise, might we as the body of Christ at Heritage seek to do the same. Whether secondary theological distinctions or unmet expectations of good will or service, let us be gracious in our disagreements or frustrations. I don’t say this because those things aren’t important but because our eternal bond, forged by way of Christ’s blood, is exceedingly more important.
Remember the prayer of our Savior who asks the Father, “…that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me.” (John 17:21)
Jesus prayed that our unity and love for one another would be like that of the Godhead. This high and holy standard is our calling and has a direct impact on our purpose to proclaim the gospel “so that the world may believe” that Jesus is truly the Savior of the world. Therefore, let us individually and collectively apply the gospel to all aspects of our lives so that we would be fully prepared to declare together the love of God that has been given to us in Christ, because we ourselves have experienced this love in countless ways.